It can be tempting to talk about others in conversations. But before you start spreading rumours, take a second to give these points a thought.
- Imagine they listened. Would you not speak about them in the same way if they were listening to the conversation? Then don’t say it. If you have a problem with somebody, talk to them about it and try to resolve it instead of venting to somebody else.
- Use the flashlight. We are all flawed in one way or another, including yourself. Shine your flashlight on the aspects you like about somebody, rather than focusing on what you dislike.
- Think about the consequences. If you gossip, the rumour can spread, and the story change completely. There is no way to control where the story ends up.
- People lose trust in you. If you gossip about one person, people understand that you probably do it about others as well. Your friends will therefore hesitate to trust you with their problems and secrets, because they are scared you will talk about them to others.
- Uptalk instead. It feels much better to talk positively about somebody behind their back than what it does talking them down. Tell people about others’ accomplishments, victories and wins, and you will create a positive vibe.
Be the person who talks positively about others behind their back.